Support – A Poem

Tech Support Cheat Sheet. Comic: xkcd.

Tech Support Cheat Sheet. Comic: xkcd.

I haven’t dabbled in poetry much, but today I had a déjà vu moment that got me thinking about my years in IT support. I wrote this little ditty this evening as a result. (It’s probably embarrassingly trite, but it has charm in its own little way.)

Support – A Poem

Hi Mom.
Your computer is slow?
Did you restart your computer?
Have you visited any new websites?
Did you add any new programs?
Is your anti-virus updated?
It’s in the system tray. Looks like a shield.
No, right-click it. The other button.
What does it say on the screen?
No, that’s the date. What the version number?
Don’t get snippy.
I’m sorry.
I know. I said I’m sorry.
Have you defragged your computer recently?
No, that’s not a Muppet.
I’m sorry.
Click Start.
No, the thing with the flag in the lower left corner.
Alright, now click Control Panel.
What? Try clicking something else.
Press Control-Alt-Delete.
With the keyboard, not the mouse.
Yes, all three at the same time.
Nothing happened?
Restart your computer.
It’s blue?
Restart your computer again.
How do you know it’s exactly as slow as it was?

Alright, I’ll come over and take a look.
Tomorrow.
No, not today, I have to work late.
You don’t need MSN News. Turn on your TV.
Love you too. Bye.

Why does your cursor look like a kitten?

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